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Friday, January 31, 2025

House of Pain (Poem)

 Someday, this world is gonna realize that it was wrong 
That you deserve your own kitchen, and you deserve to be kissed in the rain
You deserve sleepy Sunday afternoons and driving at 3:00 AM just to listen to your favorite song… not to escape any pain left at your doorstep
Where else do you leave pain? Other than the home you grew up in…
I hid the darkest parts of me in cookie jars and the miscellaneous drawer in my grandpa’s desk
I displayed the best parts of myself in my grandmother’s Fine China Cabinet and inside the chest of every person I have ever loved
I have catapulted my heart from one man to the next 
Hoping that somehow someone will see the pain left at the doorstep and won’t run away at first glance 
If you are lucky enough to get inside the house there are a few rules I think you should know
In my room, there is a TV that is stuck on the same scene of me being carried upstairs after watching Noah’s Ark on VHS tape to my Disney Princess-themed bed
As if watching the same scene over and over again can recall that same love my father gave me
In my room, there is a cracked mirror that I only look into once a year, to remind myself I still have green eyes and that is the only part of me I have never hated 
In my room, I have a roll-top desk that manages to pinch my fingers every time I close it 
There is also a first aid kit that’s been sitting at the top of the closet for the past 8 years waiting to be used on someone other than myself
My curtains are torn and the carpet has spots 
My dresser drawers are filled up with everything good I’ve ever done
My mistakes are framed and put on the walls and my faults linger outside my door like a bead curtain 
Every compliment, I have ever received is hidden under my bed for me to pull out only when I need it, I won’t lie… I often forget they are there
My bed is more like a coffin, where I crawl back to when things get hard
My garage has an empty gas can, I don’t think it’s ever been filled 
The basement is locked. Don’t go in there
Appearances matter to me so please acknowledge the flower beds out in the front yard, the uncracked steps that lead to the house, and the power-washed window frames
My living room is filled with beautiful things, it is where everything I ever loved is displayed 
Please have a seat and make yourself comfortable… I’ll take your coat and put it on my bed for when you leave
There is a Doberman of anger who likes to bite, he tends to lash out as soon as you get the chance to pet him who sleeps in my bed
So if you’re lucky enough to enter this heart… I mean house of pain
I hope you don’t run and hide when I bring out the cookie jar or ask you to retrieve the scissors from the drawer 
Or ask you to grab your coat…

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