When I wake up in the morning, my first thought is never about the boy that I like
It is never about God and the things that I worship throughout the day
It is never about how fragile human life is
It is always about the dawn
You see it’s this weird thing that I am constantly terrified of missing my dawn
My new beginning, I am scared that someday it is going to pass me by and I will wonder where it went
I am so scared to wake up and see the sunrise just to realize the sun is setting on me
What if the dawn is something I never get to see…
So every morning I wake up at 6:00 just so I can see a glimpse of what I could possibly be
Just the word dawn makes me fearful like I am missing out on something
As if the word itself is on the verge of collapsing in on itself
Funny that one of my middle names is Dawn
Every time I write my full legal name I get jump scared
I wonder if one of my parents got a divine revelation to know about my dawning
Not just my coming into the world but my missing out on it
And while they were there for that
They haven’t been there a day since
Did they give me the name Dawn as a funny joke? A tease?
Something they know I never get to see
Or did they know that my dawning would be big
Oh yeah it’s gonna be big
I know it’s gonna be big because my favorite song from the Hamilton Soundtrack is “Wait for It”
I know it’s gonna be big because I love the color pink the sky turns in the sunrise
I know it has to be big because I am confident when I say my name
Ally Marie Dawn Stewart II
Maybe my parents didn’t get divine revelation
Maybe just maybe they didn’t get a prophecy of my downfall
Maybe they got a prophecy of how I rise up
How despite the odds of two meth head parents, I never feel the emptiness that fills them
How despite the odds of being molested and groomed from ages 5-14, I didn’t turn into someone who hurts children but rather someone who helps them
No wonder I can’t see my new dawn… I am in it.
It is never about how fragile human life is
It is always about the dawn
You see it’s this weird thing that I am constantly terrified of missing my dawn
My new beginning, I am scared that someday it is going to pass me by and I will wonder where it went
I am so scared to wake up and see the sunrise just to realize the sun is setting on me
What if the dawn is something I never get to see…
So every morning I wake up at 6:00 just so I can see a glimpse of what I could possibly be
Just the word dawn makes me fearful like I am missing out on something
As if the word itself is on the verge of collapsing in on itself
Funny that one of my middle names is Dawn
Every time I write my full legal name I get jump scared
I wonder if one of my parents got a divine revelation to know about my dawning
Not just my coming into the world but my missing out on it
And while they were there for that
They haven’t been there a day since
Did they give me the name Dawn as a funny joke? A tease?
Something they know I never get to see
Or did they know that my dawning would be big
Oh yeah it’s gonna be big
I know it’s gonna be big because my favorite song from the Hamilton Soundtrack is “Wait for It”
I know it’s gonna be big because I love the color pink the sky turns in the sunrise
I know it has to be big because I am confident when I say my name
Ally Marie Dawn Stewart II
Maybe my parents didn’t get divine revelation
Maybe just maybe they didn’t get a prophecy of my downfall
Maybe they got a prophecy of how I rise up
How despite the odds of two meth head parents, I never feel the emptiness that fills them
How despite the odds of being molested and groomed from ages 5-14, I didn’t turn into someone who hurts children but rather someone who helps them
No wonder I can’t see my new dawn… I am in it.
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