Not a Love Poem (Poem)

I wish I could be poetic
I wish I could make this life more romantic
But instead, this life is just painful 
Nothing in it good
And I swore this wasn’t gonna be a love poem
It can’t be a love poem
Not when my love is all poured out
Not when my love is all scattered like the beads off the necklace your mother gave you
This can’t be a love poem
Because my heart no longer shivers when I hear your name
This can’t be a love poem
Because my hands are still as cold as the day you left
This can’t be a love poem because I don’t want to love you
I don’t want to carry this weight in my chest
I don’t want to be reminded that I can’t fold my laundry without thinking about you 
I don’t want to love you
But I do
I still imagine your Irish Spring next to my Dove body wash
Your mug still sits upside down in the cupboard, you didn’t take it with you
I was doing the laundry since the first time you left and I found one of your socks
I broke the vase your mother gave you, it shattered as I held it and sobbed 
I don’t know if I’ll ever have enough glue 
I wish I could glue together the pieces of you and me and it work out
This can’t be a love poem because I never once mentioned who you are
This can’t be a love poem because I don’t cry while I write it
This can’t be a love poem
The first love poem I wrote was about you; I guess this one is too