Your First Love (Poem)

I think everyone’s first love happens in fifth grade 
The lights are off and no one knows 
And most importantly it’s not your fault
This love is soft and obvious 
It’s often hidden by longing glances and silent giggles
Notice that I am not talking about your first crush
I am talking about your first love
Your first love will tell you you are beautiful and you’ll laugh because… 
You don’t even know what that means
Your first love will be the reason you never hate your green moss eyes
Your first love will be the reason you insist ranch is good with pizza even though you hate ranch
Your first love will be the reason, sitting in silence and co-existing feels like a form of love
Have you ever heard of “silent reading time?”
Your first love will be the reason you have scarred knees from playing too rough on the playground
Your first love will be the reason you wish on blue cars but not black ones
Your first love will be the reason you believe that heaven has to have chocolate milk 
Your first love will be the reason you think signing the DARE Program is so easy
Your first love will be the reason you never thought of your crooked teeth as an imperfection
Your first love will be the reason you think sadness should be a secondary emotion
Your first heartbreak will come in the form of a goodbye letter
Not because they were done or fell out of love with you
But because their parents are moving to Michigan and you can’t come with
Your first heartbreak will make you cry but won’t leave questions after 
Your first heartbreak won’t leave you feeling empty or hollow
Your first heartbreak won’t make you go get ice cream at 3 AM with your girls
Probably because your bedtime is 9:30 and the only girl you know is your mom 
Your first heartbreak won’t feel like all the other heartbreaks 
Your first love won’t feel like love at all
But it will be