My first lament (Poem)

 “Why aren’t you listening?” 
“Do you not see the pain I am in?” 
“Do you not see that because of this life I confuse hurt and love for the same?” 
“Do you not see that I can’t go on?”
I wail and ache
I scream in my 2004 Ford Taurus 
My heart calls out to Him 
“God, please” 
I turn on praise music on the drive home, but no praises come
No hum of love
No singing to the Creator of me
I can’t pray… I can’t address Him as Lord when all I need is a friend 
“God, why aren’t you hearing me?”
“God, why do we have to suffer?”
“God, why do we love the things that pass away?”
“God, what are doing to me?”
“God, please” 
I pray to him anyway 
I ask Him to be my joy
I ask Him to give me peace 
I ask Him to be here
He listens
He replies 
“I am your joy” 
“I am your rock” 
“I am here”
“I am your safety” 
“I am your friend” 
“I am your strength” 
“I am good”
“I AM”