A Healing Grief (Poem)

Everything good had a whisper of your name carved into it
But the world keeps on spinning, and I keep pretending I’m a part of it
Grief is just love that doesn’t know where to go
So I’ll keep sending it to you until you come home
Or until you don’t have to
But within me, there is something
It remembers the color of your voice 
I’ve always found you, a maroon 
But I’ll be cliché and say that it’s green
A sage green that people put in their weddings 
A green that people have in their homes 
I used hate the way you said “home” like that could somehow include me
You knock on my door
I move slowly, like a cheetah stalking its prey
That if  I run to the door like my legs pray I do 
You’ll disappear again, just like you always do 
I open the door, and you slink inside
I hold out my hand
It’s not to grab
It’s not to reach
But rather an offering, a plea
You lean into me like gravity has given you permission to fall 
I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding
I’m so glad you finally answer when I call