Building Blocks (Poem)

You said you’d stay, so I built a home
I stopped holding my breath, waiting for the door to slam 
I unpacked all the boxes of trauma I would rather hide in the attic
I laid down the oven mittens, which protected me from being burned 
I painted the walls a seagreen, a color that reminds me of you 
I washed up the dirty laundry that I had hidden under the bed 
I sprayed a raindrop scent all over the pillows 
And put homemade cookies in the oven  
I hope it smells like a love that’s familiar 
You said you’d stay, so I memorized your footsteps 
How they got heavier when you were deep in thought 
The creak in the hallway that connected to the kitchen 
You never could sneak a second helping (but I let you anyway) 
I started buying used books because you said it was loved (I started looking at myself this way) 
I started making the bed in the morning, so life felt more together when you couldn’t be there
You said you’d stay, so I introduced you to Beary and my Grandpa  
I leave the light on for when you are out late
I fill a cup of water up for you to wake up to in the middle of the night
I overstock on honey and lemon for when a cold hits you hard
I memorized your silence and laughter and woven them into the curtains that hang 
I bought mugs that fit your hands, It wasn’t hard; yours are only slightly bigger than mine
You said you’d stay, so I made room in the closet 
And space in the stories for you, and all the knooks and crannies of my heart 
I’ll see you step on each floor tile because you’ve always been superstitious 
I hum to the radio and you tell me that I must have been hidden in your rib in our Genesis 
That I belong under your wing for protection and close to your heart 
I built the walls out of scripture, you always were firm that we needed a firm foundation 
The picture frames of love, some misplaced, some broken, and in the wrong spot, are still love
I built windows out of my heart (you always were able to see right through me) 
You said you’d stay, so I built a home 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

But they cradled me, yes? (Poem)

I cry a lot At least every 1-2 business days Sometimes I plan out my mental breakdowns I have time after class on Tuesday evenings but Thursdays are all booked This world is full of a lot of hurt Hurt that was blessed to me the moment I entered it Hurt that was cursed to me the moment I said "Hi" Hurt given to me as a gift, in a red paper bag with glitter Hurt, I’ve given others as hatred spewed before love ever did And it’s given me a trauma-filled liver Kidney stones that make believe that some things will never pass My central artery veins are all clogged up with things that lead directly to my heart My head often forgets my rights and lefts and who loves me when I am weak Even with my body failing and my head forgetting It never made me angry It never made me cold It never turned my heart into a concrete statue, as if it’s something to be admired Nothing in this world could take away my softness My plush cheeks hurt from smiling too much My heart that’s tattooed on my ski...
Read more

God doesn't [Ctrl + C] then [Ctrl +V] (Poem)

God doesn’t copy and paste  He isn’t like us because he doesn’t want just to replicate or replace  He wants to create, and so he does If life was a canvas, there is no such thing as a default tree he makes  He gives every tree a different DNA code; He sprouts them in different ways  The leaves and fruit that come of it are in different spots and different shapes  He doesn’t make every birch and oak and spruce the same  But even more so, he differentiates:  Spruce from spruce  Birch from Birch Oak from Oak  In the same way that snowflakes are always different A beautiful lace that is wrapped in frost  Every intricate part of their heart different  All you have to do is look outside Look at the trees and blades of grass Dandelions you blow on to make a wish out of  Rivers that aren’t just dug into the ground but curve with the land When God created the lily of the valley flower, He thought of me! When He handcrafted the droop of ...
Read more

Imago Dei (Poem)

When I think of the Imago Dei, how we are made in the image of God I like to think that skinned knees were part of the package That Jesus Christ, He had skinned His knees from playing with the neighborhood boys Or maybe He just spent too much time on His knees in front of His bed talking to His Father I like to think that Jesus also had a freckle on His left arm just above His wrist Or that Jesus had a cut on the upper part of His jaw when He shaved for the first time I like to think that Jesus would think tattoos were cool but would never get them  I like to believe that Jesus loves the phrase “heart on His sleeve” because if He’s anything like me, He too wears His heart on His sleeve If Jesus is anything like me He suffered from facial erythema from crying too much  I wonder if Jesus had green eyes that had spots of orange and brown when He was happy I wonder if He understood the tightness of skin when bloating and the sag from starving I wonder if Jesus ever looked up at th...
Read more